advice for the uninitiated #303

"...when attemping any form of primal courtship; eg. flirting, etc.; it is highly adviseable to check that said target primate is not the previously-unmet partner of any primate you call 'mate'..."

i hope this helps some of you out there. :)

dammit...where was i with my good advice last night?

True or not...I like it...

He's U.N.-done

SCENE: The sidewalk in front of 205 E. 42nd St. Time: Thursday, 2:50 p.m. Friends Micky Brady, Mike McCabe and Kevin Mitchell are chatting. Micky notices Hans Blix walking west toward Third Avenue. As he passes, Micky calls out: "Hi, Mr. Blix." Hans Blix, with a smile and nod: "Hello." Micky, calling after him: "Save the world, baby!" Hans Blix, looking back: "Too late!"

G'day. Tried to call home last night sorry Dad but the phone arsed up... will try again tonight hopefully. :) Hi Australia!

Another Kon update email would be nice pls.

My update...I'm in the labs studying...gonna be here till 7pm then have dinner and then go jam with fabrice again. Sweet!

I will be living in that lab before the week is out!

Let me introduce you to the man who John 'Goober' Ruberry describes as his hero...

Also...so much music...so little time...
If this headline lineup doesn't give you wood I don't know what will...

LINKIN PARK [US]
RADIOHEAD [UK]
AUDIOSLAVE [US]
MASSIVE ATTACK [UK]
QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE [US]
DAVE GAHAN [UK]
STEREOPHONICS [UK]
THE DANDY WARHOLS [US]
COUNTING CROWS [US]
THE SOUNDS [S]
MELODY CLUB [S]
MANDO DIAO [S]
THE DATSUNS [NZ]

Is it wrong to fly to another country (England) JUST to see a gig?

(like I didn't already fly there JUST to see a football match... :)

I could fly return to London for $30AUS (provided I don't have an exam the Tuesday before...otherwise it is $90AUS) + $40 return bus to Gothenburg, + $50AU train in London + cost of ticket for show...and could (hopefully) stay with cousin...ALL DONATIONS WELCOME!!!!

Damn damn damn. Too many good things all at once!!! Firstly

Mega Huge Congrats to Meredith on her scholarship and trip to the US of A!!

You deserve it gorgeous. However damnit...couldn't you have left 1 week later so I could have at least said hello rather than having to go an extra month without seeing you :(

Secondly Something For Kate, my all time favourite band, have announced that not only are they supporting Silverchair thru Europe but are also coming to England as well. SO I officially invited them to stay with me in Sweden. I can organise a venue and they can stay with me...it would be bulk cheap for them...so if ANYONE has links to Something For Kate PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WILL COOK AND CLEAN FOR THEM IF THEY COME!!! And my cooking ain't all THAT bad. Oh Gawd it would be a dream come true.

EVERYONE CROSS YOUR FINGERS!!!

finding nemo & #2

Oh yeah, and cheers to Jackie for putting me on to Sofa Mecca, who are seriously rocking my lounge these days. The link was bollocked when I was cruising thru it, but hopefully it is back up soon. Jaymis, you in particular will go goo goo and wet with drewl or something over it.

Whilst on the subject of music, I have decided to never return. People can just send me weekly food care packages to "Rowley's Music Studio, He420, Communications Building Högskolan Jönköping, 556 12 Jönköping, SWEDEN". This comes after a second hella fun time in the labs last night. :) I have pictures and some shitty recordings already. Now all I need is the drug addiction, the wafe supermodel c-cup girlfriend and an illegitemate child to someone called 'skyler'.

Incidences of Mass Trauma often lead to short and long term memory loss...in my case I have to admit that I have been whooped at poker before. Damn you Dave for having no life to get in the way of an Elephantical internal memory bus.

In other news, Jaymis pointed out this link, but when I clicked it up rude words and naked things popped up, so I thought that I would place it here so I could remember to look at it later when I am NOT in a lab surrounded by people who are now giving me cranky looks for 'allegedly' looking at porn when I should be working. Thx J.

So

now that spring has come to Jönköping and I have finally decided to visit a computer lab I thought it was about time I got off my arse and gave you a decent post. But first things first...don't worry my guitar is ok. Dr Aryldite had him out of action for 2 days, but she is back and feeling better than ever. Boo ya! So back to the music labs for ME tonight!

link for me...ignore this

OK, so lets start with how things have changed in the past few months...

firstly. it's spring now. So that means it is 10/15 degrees celsius with 15 hours of sunshine so I am in shorts and singlets baby yeah!

A typical day in Winter was :
7am...get up...turn on lights.
7.25am...apply shiteloads of clothes
7:30am catch bus to class. curse the cold, slip over on snow, then grab handful of snow and hurl at nearest friend.
8am...start stupid class
12pm take lunch...watch sunrise
3pm finish after lunch class...watch sunset
come home...hang with mates.

A typical day in Winter rocked! But now it is spring and it is the BEST time of my life! My days are PERFECT...see the difference :
7am...Sun wakes me in my bed. Leap out.
7.05am recoil from Hangover. (capital H required)
7.30 don shorts and t-shirt and run for bus.
8am-1pm study 'hard'
2pm Have lunch, reduce amount of clothing...start playing beach volleyball.
6pm finish volleyball, study a little more
8pm - 9pm have dinner...watch sunset
After dinner - chill with mates or go to music studio and jam.


BOOOOOO YAAAAAAAH!!!

Yet another reminder that I owe M + D mega big time for getting me here to Sweden...this is Awesome.

The general plan is to finish all my projects in the next 2 weeks so I have a lot more time for the good sun over the next month or so to do nothing but play volleyball and study for the exams. But man I am having a ball.

Easter sucked a bit in the chocolate stakes (thanks doug for rubbing it in) because Swedes don't even know what Cadbury is, let alone a chocolate egg or a chockie bunny!! Instead they have paper eggs filled with candy - the fire works were cool though!

So instead I am making a post easter Cheesecake to woof down later! And despite the fact that Dad said I looked chubby the other day (sniff...TV adds 10 pounds you bastard!) I am now getting very fit and tanned...beach volleyball rocks because it is working my elbows AND the sand strengthens my ankles. Also my hair is growing REALLY fast...it is almost 1cm long in 10 Days...go figure THAT.

We went camping on Easter sunday to this beautiful spot beside a waterfall about 45 minutes walk from my appartment (Jönköping rocks because it is surrounded by forest so you don't have to go far to find a nice spot). It was an awesome night, despite the fact that I froze my arse off, bled from many points on my body, and set myself and my clothes on fire on more than 1 occassion. Actually, they were some of the funnest parts!

Poker night was the previous Friday and for the first time EVER I was taken to the cleaners. Sime, u can talk it up all you like but I still never lost to you so I am gonna romp all over you when I get back. But here I lost...must be the different currency. :) But that finished at about 4am with a Latvian girl trying to kick my arse for throwing a bucket of water on her...I swear I was aiming for Ondrej...admittedly he was no where to be seen...but honestly...

Hmm...what else to people ask...oh yeah, womens...well yes there are women here still, and to that end thank gawd for spring and warm weather, but I still maintain my incredible bad luck with only falling for women who are spoken for. I mean seriously...11 from 11 is getting to be a bit of a freakin' joke.

On the other hand however, I do have a borrowed bass guitar and a set of drums and a digital piano to mess around with, so I don't really care! Mum and Dad must be getting a bit desperate for the bloodline though...all 4 Marshall kids single...and other than Doug who I have sneaking suspicions is working at a Toowong Pizzeria more for it's relative ease of access to the RE and the Gat than for the paycheque...the rest of us are probably better suited to jobs that have a demanding travel schedule so we have a legitimate excuse for our marital status. Hell, from what I hear Harry (our dog) is STILL getting more lovin' than the rest of us :) Never mind!

OK, I could keep rambling but it's unlikely that anyone has read this far so I'll give it a rest. Don't want to burn out at such a young age :)

Love ya lots and I'll see y'all soon.

PS if anyone hears of any bar tending jobs going I'd love to hear about them so I can have a job waiting for me when I get home. Cheers!

shit...SHIT. guitar headboard just broke...fark. come on super glue...do it for me baby!

omg and tg (that's Oh My Gawd and Thank Gawd for the parental units) 'secret life of us' has FINALLY begun screening in Sweden. I can't tell you how much I have missed this show whilst I have been in Sweden...suffice to say that if I DID actually tell you the full extent of my love for this show you would be pissed off because you would be a close second. :) But alas I have missed many episodes, so I hope someone is dilligently downloading or purchasing them all for me so that I can lock myself in a secret cave upon my return to find out what is happening with my darling Claudia Karvan is up too.

Look I know you all lost interest when they killed off Sam, but it comes good again seriously.

Oh God...is it that obvious that I am single...

:)

Lindsey & J from Frenzal Rhomb rock out. They are giving an ultimate pisstake on Triple J tonight. You can listen live webcast if you want here...Piss take. PISS TAKE :)

Also, I thoroughly reccommend their new CD Sans Souci. Now someone send me a free copy godammit!

One last thing : Fuck You To The World!

Questions for the shared living impared #23 :
Your room begins to emit a strange odour that could only be described as sweaty-gym-esque. Do you
a) Wash the clothes piling up in your laundry basket despite the fact you still have several clean items and at least 1 bareable wearable underwear
or
b) Buy stronger incense candles :)

I don't know if all of you watched the Davis Cup, but if you want to see what my ugly head looked like click here!

I don't know what else to say... :( ?? Hi!

OMG...I wish my lecturer would add me to his bloody mailing list for the class like I asked...8am at school on a Thursday morning after staying in the music lab until 1am last night hurts when you find out the class was cancelled...ggrrrr...

at least I have Denise to cheer me up. Seriously, this is the best Easter Happy Cute E-Hello I've ever seen!

Sigh...it's like they're family. :)

Rafael (Brazil) set up a great website with various pictures...especially the Norway (Noruega) section which has heaps of awesome photos of Raf, Barbs & I on our epic journey! Check it out.

In other news, I now have a 24 hours 7 days a week busy schedule for no other reason other than that in the past 24 hours I discovered that one friend of mine here is a drummer, and the other a guitarist, and within 12 hours of that discovery we now have access to a

STATE OF THE ART MUSIC LAB/STUDIO!!! Booooooooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!! Rock on!!

Err yeah, so I will now be spending most of the day each day every day at university...from 8am till afternoon working, then home for dinner, then from 8pm till midnight playing music with Fabrice (Italy) & Francis (France). Wooo hoooo! Oh so uber happy :)

The funny thing is that this is likely to improve my whole 'lack of motivation to work' thing, because now I come to uni with my guitar, study all day and then reward myself with a jam ses before I go home. OH YEAH BABY. Oh Yeah.

I think the opposite sex just became redundant in my life. :)

Zan sent me this legend site. Everyone should have a good look.

In other news I am having a lot of trouble studying...damn this spring and everything that comes with it...sun...sport...long days...how's a man supposed to get any work done around here!

In other news I miss you all :) But damn I wish I could bring this all home with me...err...mum is it ok if I bring home 300 friends with me... ?

Lastly, as much as I hate to blow my own horn, I can't say no to a pretty girl like Bebe, my former roomie...she said I had to post this...

hey, i think i should write some lines for ur blogspot....u getting crazy
and it would be time somebody says thx to you for all the cooking and the good
time and the strumming on your gitarr which i definately liked and
appreciated, even if you havent been convinced by that.
next time some lines to ur crowd from me about u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss my roomie :(

PS I also invented a really good new drink...I call it a brown russian...aka..."No jimmy put that down jimmy". Take 6-10cls Vodka, mix with two heaped tea spoons of instant coffee, italian from italy is reccommended, add two table spoons of Oh Boy (swedish Nesquik) and top up with milk and ice. Shake. Serve in pint glass and consume until Caffeine and alcohol give up trying to compete against each other, shake hands, join forces, and hurl a huge chunk of ice into the back of an unsuspecting bugger's head.

Am doing nothing much cept stting in Connie's room playing some xbox with the boys as per usual. Spring is back after I was granted my one last sled. Rock on. That is the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life. We found this mega large hill to go down and we were uber hardcore or something like that. Translation : I hit a tree. And then another tree. And then stabbed my kidneys. The bottle of Vodka did nothing to quell the pain...in fact this morning my kidneys now REALLY hurt :) It's all good. We had a massive skirmish style urban snowball fight last night that was unreal...running through appartment complexes with rubbish bin lids for shields hurling chunks of ice at people barracaded in balconies, then sniping from trees. And don't try to tell me snow balls don't hurt...they do when it is ice...see bruise on bald skull. But we kicked ass. YEAH. you guys have to try this. I think next beach game we all wear ski goggles and throw ice cubes and stuff. Eyes are protected and those with enough nuts can wear a box (or a well placed and rubber banded ice cream bucket) so we can go hard...and there is nothing wrong with a few battle scars the next morning. Roxxors!!

Also... Booyah Buy Them Now!!

FUCK YEAH!!!! SOMETHING FOR KATE ARE TOURING THROUGH EUROPE IN JUNE!!! BOOOOOO YAAAAH!!!!!

Damnit...the Amsterdam tickets are nearly gone...NOOOO!!!!

EUROPEAN DATES ANNOUNCED FOR SOMETHING FOR KATE

First up some exciting news - Something for Kate will be touring in Europe
in early June, supporting Silverchair (www.chairpage.com) on the European
leg of their world tour.

There are some tickets left for all shows but we suggest you get in quick,
as they're selling fast. Dates and ticketing information is as follows:

May 30, 2003 Berlin, GERMANY - Berlin Arena (Treptow)
Tickets on sale now www.tickets-per-post.de OR www.koka36.de OR phone 0049
(0) 30 - 61 10 13 13
Venue info. from www.arena-berlin.de

May 31, 2003 Hamburg, GERMANY - Grosse Freiheit
Tickets on sale now www.tickets-per-post.de OR phone 0049 (0) 40 - 85 38 88
53
Show info. from www.grossefreiheit36.de

June 2, 2003 Amsterdam, The NETHERLANDS - The Paradiso
Tickets on sale now www.paradiso.nl and www.ticketservice.nl
Online tickets sold out but are still available from offline shops and
ticket agencies

June 3, 2003 Paris, FRANCE - Mutualite
Tickets on sale now www.fnac.com and www.ticketnet.fr

Just a request to keep a family friend (Kon) in mind & prayer as he goes in for surgery today. Prayers etc. go out to you mate. Get well soon.

It's spring and it has dropped to -1 and is snowing...now there's the Sweden I know and love :) Sled sled sled sled sled sled sled

The following post contains graphic cussing which would not be appreciated by parental type units...we instead suggest you redirect to here...









...now without further adieu....





winD'oh!s is a whore...winD'oh!s is a whore...winD'oh!s is a whore...winD'oh!s is a whore...winD'oh!s is a whore...winD'oh!s is a whore!

My idea for a new project is so cool that windows felt the need to corrupt the file mid save. This is after I tried to back up and it wouldn't let me mind you. The bastards probably recognised my insane criminal genus and sent a copy of the files to Meglo-soft as an 'error message' to steal my idea. whores. WHOOOOORES!!!

That's it...let's see you corrupt a file written in unix text edit you SOUL LESS BASTARDS.

I just thought that I'd take the time to tell you all that I'm going to be a famous musician and actor soon. Mark my words.

Woah and man am I bugged.

Davis Cup was amazing...busy...and a huge party. I fully reccommend the Fanatics to ANYONE!!! It rocked out seriously.

My bus ride down was amazing....had a crazy loud child with an unchanged nappy running up and down the isles...then the parentys decided to quiet the little brat down with chocolate and fanta...which obviously had the opposite affect. Then the kid stops running all of a sudden and vommits EVERYWHERE!!! So now the bus is quiet except for the kid's whimpering, but now smells the combination of vommit and shit. OK, this was fine but they didn't get off at the next stop to clean the little bugger, so it all baked in the sun for the 4 hour journey! Crazy!

The first day of tennis was awesome...we went nuts. This pretty much followed for the rest of the weekend. The locals were outshouted and out classed by a bunch of louts :) I've lsot my voice and my hair...which has advantages ebcause apparently now I look like a scary thug, and I always get a bus seat to myself, and somehow bouncers don't give me as much shit.

It also works well because there is a rock and roll party this weekend, and I'm gonna go as either the lead singer from Midnight Oil or as MOBY. Should be a blast :)

Would love to lave some update emails from people back home as I am pretty aussie homesickafter spending the entire weekend with a whole bunch of them and getting all Aussed up. So if you have a few spare minutes it would be appreciated to hear a few words. I will be back home in Australia some time in July.

Shoutouts to my legend of a sister Jackie for giving me the bestest birthday presents :) I will email you later J, but for now I need my ugly sleep!

Love Rowley

And today's edumacational laugh is brought to you by Goober...

Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics

Thanks to Anke for this gem...

"You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the
best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas Cup, France is
accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war"

Due to certain events beyond my control, I am feeling decidedly male today. So...er...ladies...er...watch out?

Firstly, I started the day by taking a shower. Not all that masculine, perhaps a tad SNAG though...so shoot me. But hey, I've had two room mates pack up and leave in as many days, so I'm thinking a hint is a hint.

LAST NIGHT was free pr0n night on the playboy channel. It bloody figures that on the day we FINALLY get free pr0n, my TV is taken away by aformentioned room mate. GOD DAMN YOU!!!! EVERY NIGHT FOR 4 MONTHS I HAVE CHECKED AND DOUBLE CHECKED THE SCRAMBLER TO SEE IF IT HAS BUSTED (OH WHY DOES IT ONLY HAPPEN TO JOEY AND CHANDLER) AND NOW YOU DO THIS TO ME?? WHY LORD WHY????

The following is a short story by Sailor Moon Smart, aptly retitled(?) 'Release The Dave'.

[3/31/2003 7:48:16 PM | Simon Smart]
Imagine if you will -

Wing commander John Gooberus glances at the first rays of sunlight as they dart through the trees, then turns to face his team of l33t MTB warriors.
"We should have heard back by now, something must have gone wrong... start making preparations Corporal Rowlandius"

His voice raises a level and drops an octave, the young engineer Duncanus swears to this day that the way the sunlight glittered off his protective knee pads - to him he was the spitting image of Russell Crowe. He spat, then continued.

"Three weeks from now I will be watching porn, imagine where you will be and it will be so. Hold the lines, stay with me. If you find yourself alone in the cockpit of an X-wing with the rosy glow of the exploding death star, the first one (a wink to Squadron Leader Tedicus) warming your bones do not be troubled, for you are in Elysium and you're already dead!!!.

Slowly in the ever brightening gloom a figure can be seen, they watch carefully as the shape takes form in the mist. A collective gasp eminates from the group as their minds take in the horror before them. Captain Busterificus trudges forward, covered in mud.

"The bastards slashed his tyres" exclaim horrified privates Caddienus and Sandius together.

"Jinx" manages Busterificus between pants, "and tuck that back into your shorts you two, thats disgusting!" He turns to face his commander...

"They say no"

"People should know when they're conquered" mutters Captain Fishicus lowering his helmet into place.

"Would you Fishicus, Would I?"

Gooberus bends down and picks up a handful of dirt, slowly he lets it fall through his gloved fingers.

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity."

He rises and mounts his trusty superlight. The faceplate on his pock marked helmet hides his mouth as it twists into a gruesome snarl.

"On my signal, unleash Dave!"

It did nothing but confirm several things...1 that Simon should never write romance novels...and 2, Niki Gudex is HOT.

No seriously...CHECK IT OUT.

Did you do it?

Good. I'm right aren't I? AND SHE SPEAKS SWEDISH PEOPLE!!! I speak swedish too...and I too ride mountain bikes...this is NOT a coincidence people...we are a match made in heaven. Now if I can only convince her and Keira Knightley to move to Utah so I can marry them both...

In other news, I would seriously be in awe and a worship like state if someone was to send me the latest Inside Sport magazine.

And finally HAPPY BIRTHDAY CALIFORNIA DAVE!